would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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