i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
