Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
