this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
