Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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