there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
