the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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