so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
