Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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