About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
