what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
