i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize