great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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