It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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