I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
