i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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