so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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