I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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