There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we have pet lesbian snakes
Do you still have your period?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
