She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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