Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
