Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
