The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
