I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
