great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
