I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
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