At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
