It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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