so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
