Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
