the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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