i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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