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• (571): View more from Virginia

  shaved balls and baby powder=awesome

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• (310): View more from California

  dude i need help, im throwing up blood.

  (323): View more from California

  no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.

  (310): View more from California

  oh, so thats why my junks red.

  (323): View more from California

  wow. cant help you there...

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• (801): View more from Utah

  just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.

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• (619): View more from California

  Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  That's practically a relationship for you

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV

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• (661): View more from California

  On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"

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