You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
