That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize