everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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