I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
