Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Blood and glitter go together right?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
