You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
