i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
