I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
