If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
