a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
nutella sex= disaster
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
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