She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
