why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
