I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
