Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

What a fucking waste of an outfit

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(207): View more from Maine

watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you

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(313): View more from Michigan

Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.

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(352): View more from Florida

Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.

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(314): View more from Missouri

A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.

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(205): View more from Alabama

shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me

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