you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
