Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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