it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
