sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize