Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
