It was confusing and full of hummus
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
