Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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