I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
