her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
