wakey wakey hands off snakey
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just want nice things and good sex
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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