does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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