tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
