Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
