In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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