angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
