First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize