Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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