She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
