it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
