Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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