if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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