I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
