I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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