Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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